Letter to Brad, Margaret and Rugrats - Dec 12,2005

Dear Margaret + Brad + Rugrats,

Hey guys, How's it going? Hope things are going well. I heard the weather is quite cold and I'd love to be there to enjoy it. Of course, I'd get there and think it's too cold and I'd want to be back here. :) After two weeks of being in village I finally get to a telephone and was able to call some folks. Sorry didn't leave enough $ for you. Next time. Calling people made me realize a few things both happy, sad, and inevitable.

First, I realized before I left I was making friends in village that seemed genuine. Thus, I didn't feel desperate to get to a phone, so I could talk to someone familiar. I still miss you and everyone in the States a ton, but there are folks here who are starting to look out for me here and it's a good feeling. For example, but not to scare anyone, there are some mentally handicapped and unstable people in town. There's no facility or treatment for them so they roam about and people consider them the village's idiots or fools. To these folks, I'm especially delightful. Most of the time they are just harmless and they just want to talk or be given food, like most of the "normal" people here. Normally, I refuse to give money or food because I think it encourages them and others. As a result, normally people just joking are okay with my refusal, but the mentally unstable ones get really angry or aggressive. Up until a short while ago, I had to deal with this on my own. Because I was an oddity, the townfolk watching were curious how I'd react and deal with it. Now when one gets aggressive or is known to be such, they come up and block him off from me, refusing to let him near or talk to me. That's a big deal. I feel a little more accepted now and I'm also starting to remember everyone's names, which is nice. That's the good part.

The unfortunate and inevitable part is how distance and absence changes relationships. I'm not complaining, just making an observation. I can understand it's hard to relate to another who's daily activities are so departed from your own, how do you continue to share enthusiasm over things unshared. How does a person relate to another everything that's important to them for that day and explain why everytime. You can't and thus gaps in conversations begin to grow and a loss of words grows to a loss of purpose to talk or share. I see that beginning now with friends and family and it's inevitable. Hopefully, after the two years here, I can retain those friendships and rebuild the reasons to talk and commiserate.

Two years is a test to any relationship, whether it be intimate or platonic or familial. I guess maybe I put too much weight in this issue. After being in Japan four years, two years should be nothing. I guess, I'm realizing it's not. It's quite a hurdle, but what I did learn while in Japan is that family and friends are precious and should be cherished every moment. Thus, the reunion after a long absence is that much more precious and worthwhile. I hope it will be so when I 'm in the neighborhood next time.

Sorry for my deliberations, they should probably be reserved for my journal instead of this letter, but I figure it'll give something for somebody to read and understand. I better let you go before I put you to sleep. Take care and tickle the rugrats for me.
Love Laura