Forced Marriages

I hope this finds everyone in good spirtits and health. Another recent experience allowed me to see another facet of the Burkinabe culture. 2 weeks ago I went to a wedding in my village of two friends. My friend's sister, told me about 2 days before the ceremony that my friend, Aminata, was getting married. Surprised, i asked to whom, the little girl said to Harouna, another friend of mine. I smile, surprised, but gladdened that she was marrying someone nice. Considering the couple I assumed that it was consensual, I later found out the opposite.

I went to my friend's house to say hello and give congratulations, and ended up being invited back later that night to witness the event. I said, sure, and arrived back at their home around 8PM. Curious about the rituals being performed, I began asking what sequence and meaning behind the upcoming events. During this Q&A, I found out, that actually, she was being forced to marry him. She didn't want to, but the grandfather of the two families brokered the deal, and since her father was dead, no one could deny the decision. This was a shock. Especially when I found out that she would be the 3rd wife of my other friend. That status is about equivalent to the family dog in some families here. I was extremely dismayed. Beside the concept of being forced to marry someone, Aminata, was planning on continuing school and hopefully go to nursing school and become a functionaire. There were many women hoping the same thing for her also, and they were also concerned of the turn of events.

Watching the events unfold and witnessing the last moments of relative freedom this woman would have before being taken into another household for the rest of her life, both disgusted the feminist in me and fascinated the scientist. Witnessing the culture and the loss of hope of a woman made an indelible and lasting impression that will stay with me.

Throughout the day, she had been preparing for the ceremony by putting henna on both her feet and hands. A sort of organic dye that stains the skin for about a month. The design the make here tend to be very geometric. Pretty but simple. Her hair was braided intricately and her make up was strongly applied. Anyhoo, I arrived in the evening and she was patiently awaiting the women from the other family to come with her bridal outfit(as a gift) and dress her. We sat in patience and the air was somber. Here friends were present for support and sad along with her. Here grandmother was patient and expectant. Around 930, the women from the other cartier arrived with jewelry and the outfit for her to wear. They enter the bed chambre and crowded in like chickens clucking over here as they dressed her. About 10 were packed in the room with me and Aminata and her friends. They were more surprised to see me than the bride of course, but it's not everyday they have a whitey at their wedding. Finally they finished and she was prepared to leave. I was chosen as a support and I held her had as we walked through the neighborhoods heading to the grand cartier where she would live. The procession consisted of about 50 women singing and chanting songs of marriage. Banging potts and clanging bells, we meandered down the muddied paths to her new home.

We arrived and we situated in a chamber where she was to stay until the groom was ready for her at another cartier. I was invited out to witness all the women dancing themselves, in a grand circle. Singing broadly and dancing enthusiastically. Drums, bells, barrels, and hands kept the rhythm as the women danced for about an hour. Thinking that the night was over, I was led to the house of the husband to say hello. At his house there was a huge dance party going. 3 or 4 hundred people gyrating to popular music. Slightly surprised, but pleased, I enjoyed the scene and sense of celebration, in contrast to the previous 2 hours. Thinking I'd head home after saying hello, I went over without any expectation. Well, I arrived, said hello, and chatted for about 10 minutes until I decided to say goodnight. The groom said that I couldn't go home, that I need to stay and dance when Aminata came. I asked when that was and he said, 15 minutes. I said okay, i can wait. ugh
Well
15 minutes turned into an hour and the Aminata finally did arrive in a cacophony of noise produced by a revved motorcycle and another parade of women. After much confusion and rearrangement of seats that took another hour, for some Burkinabe reason. An open space was left on the dance floor. I figured we'd dance and I could leave soon after. NOPE.
The next hour and half was of some oddly choreagraphed selection 1 or 2 people dances that the rest of the crowd just watched. Some of the dancing was nice, but others were just repetitive and I was beginning to get extremely tired and agitated in wanting to go home. During the dancing, randome family members would walk around the couple throwing candy into the crowd or dropping it on the dancers heads, where the candy would drop on the ground and several people would scramble after it in the midst of the floor and gyrating dancing. Oddly enough were other family members with switches ready to hit kids retrieving the candy in order to keep them off the dance. For two hours they did this during the dancing, pour candy over somebodies head, the candy falls, the kids scramble to get it and then get chased and/or beaten with a switch to keep them from doing it again. A really odd game that seemed to play it self out.
After being there 3 hours(it being 2AM now, my bedtime is usually 8PM), not dancing or anything, I decided enough was enough, I'm leaving. They begged me to dance before I go (so that everyone would see the Nasara boogy and laugh), I said If I don't dance now, it's never. The signaled a new song, waved me over, I danced 30 seconds and that was enough monkey performance for me, I waved to everyone and left the dancefloor, saying goodbye quickly and walked home. A very long night and intense experience.

The next day many people came up to me and thanked me for attending. Saying it meant a lot that I participated and danced. I said no problem and ended up taking a long nap that afternoon. Next post, I explain what is supposed to happen to Aminata.